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“I come as one, but I stand as 10,000”

—Maya Angelo—

Today’s date…. August- 9- 2019…. The place, the club in the ATX. The time is about 9:57pm.

This journey… this ride….. this… whatever… is a trip that I have never been on before. It’s just so emotional, so taxing, so energy intensive, so mountainous, and yet so deep.

To have the mental fortitude to not only believe in one’s self, but to believe in it so deeply that nothing sways you from it…. But that’s not the taxing part…. To then keep a job that in itself is deeply and mentally stressful is a challenge within itself, and yet still go home and build not just a small business, but to create a financial empire. To attain good habits is one thing, but to deprogram bad habits is a whole different animal.

Now…. To keep that mental fortitude, to be happy, to the have faith that you can attain a goal that you have never seen. To walk a path that you don’t know where it begins or exactly how it curves, To keep a job that is below what you are meant to do in life. To then work with some people at your job that will never understand you or how to bring the best from within you, and yet to still go home and still have endless energy to build a business. And not just any business, but a business that will allow you to be financially free and allow you to do what inspires you the most in life. And in order to do all of this you still have to not only get rid of all your bad habits and every bad person in your life regardless of whom they are, but you must first recognize your bad habits and the people that are unknowingly toxic to your life and trying to pull you in the opposite direction from your dreams, you must then as Lisa Nichols says…. “Die to every form of who you are in order to give birth to the person you are meant to be”. Then you must learn and practice daily on how to create and actively engage in creating and recognizing good habits that will pull you forward until you literally fall into your dreams, this is when you can finally see it coming together…. this is when you can finally understand, and know it enough to say to yourself… “here, put it together, and when you are done you will achieve your dreams….” But to do this requires something so powerful within me that can withstand the tests that are put upon me on a daily basis. Truthfully, sometimes it makes me cry, sometimes when I cry I look up to the sky and I just bitch to God. I just can’t understand why, why would he put me through this, Sometimes I just beg “please just help”, sometimes, and very rarely, I have tears of determination in knowing that my dreams will truly be my life. Sometimes this journey makes me feel energized, but most of the time it makes me feel pain, fear, doubt, and a shit ton of uncertainty. Maybe that’s why I love to go skydiving. As I have mentioned in a previous post, its one of my favorite forms of meditation. If I am going to attain my goals then I MUST only focus on my beliefs and not what surrounds me. I must believe that I am a creator, a human being and a soul that is connected to all things… Including each and every one of my dreams. And as TD Jakes says….I must believe that I am a miracle waiting to happen. (Thank you TD Jakes)

One of my goals… and maybe it is subconsciously the reason why I started this chronicle, is because my financial goal is 20 million dollars in 20 years. And how does a human, a minority born into poverty, surrounded by poverty, and surrounded by poverty minded people, people that they themselves have never seen their own potential within themselves, let alone to see potential of life around them or the true life that was created for them. Not only is there almost no resources for these people, but they choose to believe that they MUST live all of their life, especially their financial life in the present moment of how their life currently is and not how it could be, because if they don’t, then they could be wasting something that may not be available tomorrow. They live in what I call scarcity mode and not in abundance mode. And for me, when I was young, back then, there where no cell phones, there were no pagers, there where no black berry’s. So the question is this, how does someone with so little, do so much with such little resources?…. And after all these years, all that I can reach out to grab onto in order to KNOW for certain that someone with so little can do so much is thru the amazing power of this one tiny little word called “faith”. Faith that no matter my situation, that no matter what I am going thru mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, and no matter what my feelings or senses tell me, that I have within me is the connective understanding that I am meant to achieve any goal that I have created. That I am stronger than any of my circumstances, that I am stronger than any outside forces that push up against me or on me,  that I am created here on this earth to make a difference in this thing called life, that I am meant to enjoy all that my holy father created. That within me stands the strength and belief of all of my ancestors. And for me, being born as that tiny little kid who was born into poverty, that somehow someway, that I CAN picture and WILL have 20 million dollars in my life. Just in the same way like a blind man that can picture a rainbow. And for me the reality is this…. In my view, a blind man doesn’t need his eyes to see a rainbow, science teaches us that the brain can rewire itself to see without the eyes. And so if a blind man can see a rainbow without his eyes, then somehow I too can see 20 million dollars in my bank account without it currently being physical in my life at this moment.

So I guess for me this week, as I began this post, has been so tough mentally and emotionally, and tough on just so many levels. But somehow, someway I must look for ways to believe that my dreams can happen, that my surroundings is not my prison, and I must believe that I am not alone. I must have faith. I must have faith that as Maya Angelo said….. “I come as one….. But I stand as 10,000”.

And with that I pray to all of my ancestors, with this life I live, it is because of each of you that came before me, each of you that lived your life experienced your own greatness, and it is because each of you that I have within me the ability to attain my goals and make each of you proud. I am not perfect, and so when I am down, all I ask….. as a family member, to please help me remember, that in this life, that I may only seem as if I come as one…. But that in true reality that I stand with each of you as 10,000.

Love,

Max.