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Procrastination has been called a thief—the thief of time. I wish it were no worse than a thief. Instead, it is a murderer; and that which it kills is not time merely, but the immortal soul.

–William Nevins–

I chose this quote because of what it really ACTUALLY says. you see, for many of us procrastination steals our time, but when you really think about it… It doesn’t just steal our time, it also stifles and chokes our future. It literally slowly pushes away all that is meant for us to achieve in life. And it pushes it so far away that it eventually kills our dream from ever being born. And in my life, I have been allowing so many things to get pushed away. And not only that, but in my life I have also allowed so many unimportant things to take priority. So when it comes to procrastination, it is not just a thief, it also a murderer. It literally murders our future from becoming reality. And this is something that I must not let into my house. It has taken me forever just to “realize” (that is just to simply actually only understand) that my mind is a sacred place. My mind is literally my temple. It is where all things begin and all things end. And if all things begin there and end there, then it only stands to reason that I must stand guard at every thought I have. I must encourage every positive thought and I must close the door and lock the windows to every negative thought. I must practice to suppress and snuff out procrastination. Because if I don’t kill it, then it will eventually kill me… the me that I am trying to become.

Stardate: August 26, 2024

Time: 12:29am

Place: The club in the ATX

Song Playing: Taylor Swift – Lavender Haze (snakehips Remix)

Today, and when I say today, I mean Sunday August 25,2024. I arrived home and took my mom some flowers and a birthday card. Today August 25th 2024 my mom turned 90 years old!!! That is a super awesome moment. For my mom to live 90 years. Most Americans have a difficult time living to the ripe and robust age 75 years. But my mom has outlived many people in America. My mom even outlived 2 of her own sons. To me it is so super amazing but yet also kinda “normal” for me to see my mom at 90. I’ve been around my mom my whole life. And my mom has always been a strong independent woman. And even up until about 5 years ago, my mom was still mowing her own lawn. There is so much to say about my mom, but lets save most of that and pepper it throughout all the posts in this blog.

So what’s happening in Max’s life since my last post? Well…. there’s the car, the motorcycle, the truck, the real estate (My Patch Guy, My latest electrician, and Mario platting), and the expo. Let’s dive in.

As I mentioned in my last post, I took my car into the body shop to have bodywork done on the car. My car is a black 2007 Toyota Yaris. and about a decade ago I put a body kit on it so that the car would not look so nerdy. But after time and after years of me not caring about how I drive, the body kit has been falling off the car. And I am now finally at a point where I “must” level up. If I am going to finally be ready to go and meet people then I must also have a car that looks descent. And I am more than sure that if I meet good people, disciplined people, and people that are actually working on their goals, then I am sure that as much as looks are overall not important to “life itself”. It is though apparent that looks and material objects are just one of many indicators of where a person is in life. And it is also a outward perception of how they perceive their internal life (as in how they seem themselves). So with that being said, I don’t need a fancy car. But I do need a descent to nice looking car. I need a car that shows that I know “how” to take care of things. And my car currently looks like I have beaten it up and shitted on it, and most of all looks like, a beat up hooptie that is one day away from going to the junk yard. It really just looks that bad. And to be honest, I just really don’t care about having a fancy car. But I do care about people and life. And most of all I care about evolving into a better version of myself.  Which also means knowing “how” to take care of a vehicle. So with that being said, the car is now in the body shop getting it’s makeover. And when it’s body work is done, I will then need to get new rims and tires. And as of this moment the car is still in the body shop. Today begins the 3rd week of it being in the shop. I went to the body shop earlier this week, to check on the status of the car. and sadly Jesse (the body shop owner) hasn’t even started on it yet. Instead the car is sitting outside with the old body kit stripped off. Jesse explained to me that he is behind schedule because of the heat. Something about him spray painting cars in the paint booth gets extremely hot and so he is having a hard time keeping up with his schedule. He said that he will need one more week. Which means that this week he should be finished with my car.

Then there is Mike, the mechanic with my truck…. Pssshhhhh. Man talk about moving like a turtle. Mike was supposed to be finished fixing the water pump and alternator last week. And instead he is still not finished. This is sadly something that I keep tolerating. And my ONLY reason for tolerating is for one easy reason and two subsequent reasons that fuel my primary reason. And what’s my primary reason? Is simple. I’m scared. I’ve never been taught on “how” to find help. So I feel almost paralyzed, frozen, completely blank on knowing “how” to make a move. And then that leads to the two simple reasons that fuels the primary reason….. 1) finding a knowledgeable mechanic that can and will work on a truck that is really a pieced together Frankenstein. and 2) A mechanic that I can afford. You see. my truck as I have mentioned in a previous post, my truck is a 2001 Ford Ranger, with a GM Engine and a GM transmission and a different Ford Axle. In other words, my truck is not easy for most mechanics to work on simply because most mechanics are like a line server at McDonald’s. They only know how to do specific things with specific cars and only understand certain ways of which a car connects its parts. And what I am needing is someone that is in some form creative. Because with my truck you have to be creative in order to see ways to make different car parts to work together. This has been my challenge ever since I put the huge tires on my truck….. And when did I put huge tires on my truck, well, that has now been almost 22 years ago. And the truck has sat in either someones backyard gathering rust or in a mechanic shop collecting dust for the past 21 years. And now after all these years, I am finally close to having a truck that is actually drivable. Mind you, the truck currently doesn’t have air conditioning. (without knowing the ac must connect in a VERY specific way to other parts of the vehicle. And when a vehicle is made from different manufacturers, then this means that things like air conditioning are not a “plug and play” type of part. Instead, the AC will need to be custom designed! FML! But regardless of no AC (And I live in Texas and global warming is definitely a real thing in Texas) and so regardless of AC, I am very close to the truck being drivable. When Mike is done with the truck, with fingers crossed that the engine will run well, and the electrical in the truck will all be fixed, but assuming all is well with the engine and the electrical, I will then need to take the truck to a transmission specialist and have them fix the transmission. More on the transmission on a future post.

For now, my truck is still in Mike’s shop and Mike has been slacking on getting the truck up and running. Mike was supposed to have it ready this past Friday, But on Thursday he said that he was going to “work” on it on Friday, But working on it and having it finished are two very different things for Mike.  So this week I will call Mike and see if he has finally given some attention to one of his reliable customers. (Me).

Now the motorcycle. Well, I am finally moving closer to closing this particular chapter of my life…. In terms of vehicles. my motorcycle issue has been a MAJOR plague simply because it is the vehicle that I use to get from San Antonio to Austin. About 6 or 8 months ago, I found out that the engine on my motorcycle is leaking oil and that to rebuild my motorcycle engine would cost about $5000 and there will not be a guarantee on the engine after 6 months. And so my next best option is to buy a used motorcycle. However, this was and is a painful option. As a used motorcycle was going to cost me anywhere from $5000 to $10,000 dollars. But buying a brand new motorcycle (like what I have) would cost closer to $30,000 to $40,000 and not include full coverage costs on monthly insurance. And as you remember, my main objective with my money is to get my real estate up and running so that it can make me some money and get the fuck out of this damn club situation. So a month after my motorcycle started to leak oil, I then began to slowly start saving money for another used motorcycle. and OMG did that hurt! It just hurt so bad to HAVE to push money to buy another motorcycle. But thankfully about a month ago I finally got enough money together and found  a motorcycle that I was able to purchase. Mind you it is still a used motorcycle. It doesn’t come with any bells or whistles, and it has 61,000 miles on it. But it seems like it’s in good condition. But only time will tell if it will last me the miles on the road.

Mind you, this is now my 3rd real motorcycle and they have all been Honda Goldwings. (The largest commercial motorcycle type available) And accessories and parts for this motorcycle are actually expensive. And when I got rid of my 1st Goldwing, I had left aftermarket accessories on it simply because I had not yet understood their value or usefulness. But now that I have my 3rd Goldwing, I can now understand what accessories I want to keep from the previous bike. Now, the only hurdle is to find the time that it takes to remove items from one bike and install them tothe newest motorcycle. Again… I do not like doing mechanic work. My only depth of wanting to do any mechanic work is an oil change on my car. But when it comes to motorcycles, I have to sit and watch videos on how to do things. And I “would” have the dealership do all of the work, but they charge about $150 an hour and this does not include parts or taxes. And with my latest motorcycle, the previous owner had moved the handle bars and made changes to the springs on the front tire, and for me to have things changed to either their original state or to a form that fits best for me, the dealership raped me for almost $1000! I almost shitted in my pants when I saw the bill. Literally almost $1000 for 6 hours of work. I fucking flipped shit in my mind. So fucking pissed! But because I have no idea on how to change springs on the front forks, I ended up paying that absorbent amount of money. And I was going to have them remove some parts from one bike and install them on the other bike, but I just can’t see myself being OK with paying $150 an hour for some guy to take his fucking time to move accessories from one bike to another. So I ended up doing it myself. And again… I really hate working on vehicles. But I bit the bullet and got to work on it. This time, I tried not to complain, and instead I  just told myself….”I will just do it today and not think about the time it takes to get it done.” I did it this way because every damn time that I think something will take me 30 minutes or an hour etc. It in the end ALWAYS ends up taking double the amount of time. This week was no different. I needed to move the windshield (windscreen) and a couple of other parts to the newest bike. And I thought to myself….”this should take about an hour or so.” but in the end it actually took me 3 fucking hours. But luckily I didn’t complain and just tried to stay calm during the whole process. It was difficult because I had to stop several times to watch videos to try and help me figure out how to dismantle certain items. On the plus side, I finally have most of the tools needed to work on my bike. In the past some things would take longer because I would have to stop mid work on the bike because I didn’t have the proper tool and that meant that I would have to stop everything and then get in my car and drive to the automotive supply store to buy the tool I needed. But luckily, this time I didn’t have to do that. Thank you God.

So my bikes…. the one leaking oil will be gone in about 10 days, I will sell it to the service manager at the dealership. I think he buys them and then sells them to Mexico. And as for my now most recent bike, I still need to transfer a couple of items from the old bike to this newer bike. And I will do that in about 7 to 10 days. It is something I don’t want to do, but if I don’t do the transfer then I will need to buy the accessories all over again and the accessories will cost me several hundred dollars. So I will take on the task myself, and then I will finally be moving forward and closing this chapter with a motorcycle that is leaking oil. Now my motorcycle dilemmas won’t be completely finished, but at least I won’t have to worry about buying another motorcycle or worry about how I am going to get to work. Thank you God

Now Let’s dive into the real estate aspect of my life…. Well, there is my patch guy – an older gentlemen from Mexico. He has been in America for over 20 years and his prices are within my price range, but sadly his skill and timeliness on completing a project are really starting to hurt me financially. Again he is a really nice person and his prices are definitely what I can afford, but his ability to be spot on with the details is lacking. He ends up having to redo certain things either two or three times before he gets the perfect details that I am looking for. And this is only added by the fact that he is slower to moving than other patch guys. I can only attribute this to the fact that he is old. Luckily I am on the tail end of finishing the inside of Apt #2 But it is now the small details that I need to look perfect. And for each project I give him (usually 5 or 10 things to fix or do) He takes over a month to finish, while another handy man would get it done within one or two weeks. My goal is to have him finish the inside of this apartment and then have him work on the balcony and then I may have him do the remodeling work of Apt #3, but I am going to work on finding someone that can work faster. I must get all of my apartments rented!

And this is where my biggest hiccup is… It’s my mentality to really be demanding on myself to get someone competent and fast who can finish the remodeling of the two apartments. (It goes back to that idea of my truck and not getting a mechanic that can get things done on time. I keep avoiding that hard conversation with myself… And at some point soon, I must change how I speak to myself and what I “believe” I deserve. It seems that I get scared to ask myself the hard question…. “why am I taking so long to get shit completed?” and I can only assume that either I don’t want it bad enough (which means that it is something deep within me from childhood belief that I need to change) or that I am totally lost on “how” to find someone and or I am completely in fear thinking that it will cost me more money than I can afford. And which is the correct reason for me being lethargic on these rentals?  Honestly I don’t know. It could be a mix of all things. However there is one thing that I am starting to see….. I can see that I am a procrastinator. (which really sucks balls!) but more so, It seems that I am ok with people being procrastinators. And that idea must change! I must NOT allow myself to be ok with my workers being a procrastinator. I recently told myself…..”If I am a procrastinator and my workers or helpers are procrastinators, then how the hell am I ever going to get shit done!” and so now I am really trying to drill into my mind that I MUST not accept procrastination in my life. (Notice how I said “in my life”) Which means that if I allow myself to procrastinate then I will allow others to procrastinate. And that shit MUST change. Because if it doesn’t change, then I will be stuck at this dead end club job forever. And I CANNOT let that happen. There is a beautiful world outside of this club just waiting for me to connect and build with it. Please God help me. Max, believe in yourself. Go and get shit done!

So with the apartments, things are moving slow and I will be calling my patch guy  each day to try and get an update from him on things. Then there is the 4plex that I want to build. I finally found a architect that I will hire to design the plans, his name is Mario, I have not met him personally but I was referred to him by a person I know. I spoke with Mario on the phone and he said that I should get some verification with the city on which route to go… either I build my 4plex with two duplexes or I build the 4-plex with just one building. And if I go the route of just one building then I will HAVE to spend extra money on a sprinkler system and other items. But if I sit with the “building department” of the city and they say that I can build two duplexes then I can save myself a lot of headaches. So I have scheduled a meeting with someone from the city. unfortunately they scheduled me almost a month out from when I applied for the meeting. So now I am having to take procrastination from the city. Ugh.

So this week I will need to ensure that Mario will go with me to the meeting. I want him there since he will be the architect. I want him to ask questions that can help me understand how to hopefully move things in my direction. Then there is the issue with a electrician that I am currently hiring. His name is Carlos and I hired him to do some work at the apartments, and his price is within my range, but again, even though his price works for me, he comes with the baggage… The inability to be on time, and an inability to properly communicate with another human being (probably why he is not a high demand electrician). On his first job I ended up having to pay him extra money simply because the fucker doesn’t know how to properly explain himself. But since then I am now VERY specific about what he will accomplish on the job. I can tell he doesn’t like that I am being very specific about his job and the details of what he will accomplish. I can also tell that he lacks self discipline in so many avenues of his life. So much that recently he came to my house to connect a tank less water heater to the electrical panel. And before he started the job he wanted half of the money. I told him that I was only giving 30% upfront. He didn’t like that, but last time I gave him half, he took forever to start the job. And this time he was extra lethargic on getting the supplies. Rather than him being specific about the supplies, he just gave me a “general list” of supplies. Which means that he is expecting me to be a fucking electrician. I don’t do that shit. So instead I went back and forth on him about being specific on the list. He eventually got upset because he was forced to have to go back and forth to Home Depot. He complained like a child and I had to sit with him and be patient in explaining his job and my job. In the end he did part of the job, but because he didn’t do the job of getting all the supplies before starting the job, he ended up not finishing the job and now has to come back again. All because he didn’t do things correctly in the beginning. So once we finally settled out the dispute of “who” is getting the parts we settled on a time for him to be at my house to finish the job. And again, I had to inform him that if he is not there in timely manner that he can keep driving and expect me to not answer the door. And low and behold the fucker was almost two hours late. (and he is not an in-demand electrician. As in it’s not like he has multiple jobs lined up) And because I know that he doesn’t have multiple jobs lined up and yet he still comes to my house 2 hours late. I told him that that he can’t be super late to the job. So recently he said he was going to be at my house at noon. And about 11:30am he was at the parts store (about 10 minutes from my house) But yet he didn’t get to my house until almost 2pm. Which means that either he was lying to me about being at the parts store and or the fucker just doesn’t know how to drive from point A to point B. SMH. So when he got to my house at almost two hours late, I didn’t open the door. I didn’t open the door because I must not allow procrastination from people that work for me. It is one thing if the contractor is in high demand and or they tell me in advance about a job that must be finished before they start a job for me, but it is a whole different story if the contractor is just a straight up procrastinator. In the end he got very upset that he drove to my house only to find a locked door. He later texted me informing me that I owe him $140 for driving to my house. I then replied with a whole different concept. I texted him and said that it’s a shame that he wasn’t able to make it on time, but that he can finish the job when I am back in town. He later texted me, again upset and told me that I can find another electrician. Then later he sent me a photo of the word “Jesus” as in he is a Jesus loving person and I am doing him wrong. But I didn’t reply. Then he sent me another photo. this time it was of the Home Depot pick up list. At that point I replied and told him that I didn’t understand the photo, but that I gave him 30% of the agreed amount to do the job and that I still owe him the remainder when he finishes the job and that I still have other jobs for him, but that he will have to wait until I am back in town. Then a day later he has now texted me and said that he can finish the job when I get back in town.

The moral of the story of my current electrician is that I hired him because of price. And I then had to quickly learn “how” to talk to him in a way that he understands. And sadly he understands “toxic” communication. Remember every human “typically” treats other people the exact way that they treat their own internal conversations with themselves. So I have quickly realized that his way of communication is toxic and that I CANNOT take his communication personally. If I take it personally then my ego will lead me down the wrong path of thinking and I will not get him to finish the job. Remember I hired him for the knowledge and the price, and not because I want to invite him to Christmas dinner. In the end it is me staying focused on talking to him in a form of what I expect from the job and without cussing at him or straight out telling him that he is stupid or that he is an asshole. And so this electrician is my first text subject on how I should re-frame my thinking about hiring procrastinating and unprofessional contractors… I must remember not to fault them for their inabilities of communication. And instead just stay focused on the EXACT items of what they are supposed to do and then slowly add penalties for each time they are not on par with what they agreed to do. I wish it didn’t take me this long to learn this, but learning this allows me to not hold pain or anger for contractors like that. But thank you God for me finally making progress in this area. Even if it doesn’t yet seem like I’m making movement.

Finally there is the Expo… better known at the Exotic Dancer Expo. This is an event that has been happening for at lease 20 years or longer. And I have never been to this expo. But to be honest, it is not something that I ever cared be at. So then if I don’t really care about the event, then why am I going to it? Well, I don’t really care about the Expo, but I do care about ensuring that I am someone that looks like I am valuable at the club. And here at the club, I MUST ensure that I look like I am valuable. Which isn’t too hard, but then again, it is easy for people to try and make me look bad and uncaring, which in turn it just means that they are trying to devalue me. In a world where people don’t care about you, it is easy for multiple people say things that will downgrade you simply out of jealousy. And then it forces you to HAVE to prove your worth. Which just takes more energy and can cause me to have so much unnecessary internal anger. So I am hoping that me going to this event will help strengthen the views of others at the club about my value at my job. Plus, another major reason is because my boss’s boss is having the company pay for the cost of the ticket to the Expo. and plus of the sheer fact that this years event is being held in Dallas (which is only a 3 hour drive from work – so I won’t have to buy a plane ticket or rent a car). You see, this year I was one of the “DJ’s of the month”. Each month many of the DJ’s of the company get online and do a zoom call. And I typically go on the zoom calls each month, and since I was announced as one of the 12 DJ’s of the month, the company is paying for the expo ticket. And deeper, the fact that I am one of the DJ’s of the month helps for me to look valuable. So in return, I felt that I should go to the Expo to show my affection for them announcing me as one of the DJ’s of the month and hopefully I can learn something at one of the seminars. And hopefully I can and will be someone worth noticing as a positive growth minded person. And my personal belief is that positive growth minded people are ALWAYS valuable to a company. It’s just up to the people in charge to want to notice these type of people. So after work I will be driving to Dallas.

Wish me luck, and may I begin to resonate zero procrastination such that I connect with others that get things done on time.

Love,

Max.