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When I think about life and what I am capable of, and what I must do in life, I can’t help but to remember a quote that Wayne Dyer recited about Max Planck. Basically, everything we need is already within us. All we have to do is to reach within, grab our potential and pull it out.

This is a good way to explain what I felt this week. You see this week was riddled with the fact that my apartment #1 still isn’t finished. 3 weeks ago, I thought I was literally on the edge of having it finished, but then I had Eddie do the stucco on the walls and that’s when I just fucked up some of the work that was already completed. Then it rained on and off for 2 weeks, And if you have read any of my posts, you can see that patience is not my forte.

But by Wednesday or Thursday of this week, I finally…. And I mean FINALLY saw in real life……. what I have been seeing in my mind for the last several years. This week apartment #1 is now literally, just 3 items from being 100% rent ready. This week everything on the inside, and I mean EVERYTHING on the inside is complete except for 1 thing. Just one fucking thing! And I can’t tell you how good that makes me feel. Just one thing on the inside….. Not 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 or even 10. Nope just one thing! Now, that one thing is still an issue. And not a small issue, but after all these years and all the shit that I have done to that fucking apartment, this one thing is just a bump in the road. And truth be told that fucking apartment looks good! I’ll even re-post the google photos link.

Things that I have done to that apartment are things like foundation work, moving walls, to create closet space, redesign lighting in the WHOLE house, moving stove placement and switching it to an island style, recessing the fridge into the wall, redesigning the laundry area, taking a small 3 foot platform opening to the master bedroom and turning it into an actually patio deck with outside furniture. I even did a full make over of the flooring in the whole house, and added a half bath, and also replaced a shower/tub in one of the bathrooms and also replaced all counters with custom cement counters in the kitchen. I also added a new stove and fridge and new sink, and new faucets in the main bathrooms. I’m telling ya, there is more that I did, but when I think about it, it is just a whirlwind of all the work, time, money, and effort that I put into this project. And all of that is just the inside of apartment #1. I even added new ducting for the A/C. I swear the amount of work involved in this project felt endless and to finally see that on the inside all I need is one more thing…. is actually a relief. And in this moment, I am actually proud of myself. Especially for a young kid (Now old man) from the hood that never got a college degree or took any training of any kind in real estate, or construction, or remodeling.

And so what is that one thing that needs to be finished?…. Well it’s the shower/tub in the master bath. Sadly I was hoping to just clean it and then not worry about it, but after everything in the bathroom is done and the new lighting is in, I can just see that the master tub/shower is old. and I mean painfully old. And for me that is just unacceptable. Now what are my choices. Well, one of my guys said that I could cut a wall out and put a new tub in, but I am not tearing another fucking wall if I don’t have to. Remember I already now have new work with apartment #2. I also thought about using “bath fitters”. They come and make laser liners to fit over the existing tub/shower. The only drawback is that if I use “bath fitters” then it will cost at minimum $1000 and at most  $5000. And If I have to then I will go that route, but $5k just sounds really painful and will maybe be one of my options in the future. And so my last option is to resurface the tub/shower. Estimates say that it will cost me about $500 to $800 dollars. There are estimates that say it will cost about $200, but I assume the lower cost is just for the tub part and not the shower liners. And so the winner is going to have to be the resurface. Sadly if done perfect, I will probably only get about 2 or 3 years from the resurface, which is why “bath fitters” is still in the back of my mind. But for now, it will have to go with the resurfacing option. Now beyond the one issue inside of apartment #1, I still have the issue of remodeling apartment #2.

In apartment #2 I will have redo every damn wall in that apartment, and I mean every wall. I will need to strip the walls down then re tape in places needed then re texture, then repaint, I will need to move the electrical breaker box (it’s not code compliant) and I will need to redo the floors of the whole apartment, and I will need to add updated lighting that will look good for the next 7 years, I will need to add a new stove and a new fridge, I will need to add new blinds, a new used window will have to be installed. One of the windows is too small, under cabinet lighting will need to be installed, a new hood vent will need to be installed in the kitchen, in other words, this apartment was remodeled once about 3 years ago. But when I remodeled it, I just wasn’t ready to drop so much money into it so that it had the look of what I had initially envisioned, but now that most of the lighting was already installed in my first remodel and the fact that in my first remodel I also paid over $10,000.00 to have a wrap around patio deck built, I stopped at the basic remodel of that apartment because I just couldn’t see myself putting more money into it. But now that the wrap around patio/deck is completed and that most of the inside lighting is completed, I can now say that I am ready to drop the necessary money on the inside of apartment #2 to actually finish it out. it will probably cost me about $10k to complete, but at least when I am done I will know that it will look good until I am almost ready to sell.

But yeah, apartment #1…. Finally I am arranging the photos to put on the net. I posted a link of the photos in one of the previous posts. It was a link to a google photo albums. And as of yesterday I have been updating that album with the latest photos that I took of the patio/deck and one of the rooms and living room. After playing with the photo album, I noticed that I need to redo a few photos of the inside and I also need to take a few photos of the outside (The outside stucco of apartment #1 is now is now finished and painted along with the fence/wall. It has also been finished (stuccoed and painted) and so I am curious to see how the photos will look.

This means that it is now time for me to begin to put on the marketing and advertising hat. I was hoping to have the photos completely ready and posted by today, but that won’t happen. But I am not going to worry about it. I know that the things that are now needed are few and far between. I also recently and finally got me a new phone. My old phone was a galaxy S5 and I finally updated to the newest and latest Galaxy S10. It set me back a pretty penny, but it is worth it. My old phone was so, so, and I mean so slow. It constantly over heated. And for me, all phones overheat, but my old phone would get stuck in some type of over heating mode. idk. It was weird. Plus this new Galaxy S10 has a better camera for me to take photos.

And lastly on the apartment #1 issue, I had someone text me out of the blue and asked if I would sell the 4plex. I tend to get 3 to 5 calls per week with people bird dogging my property. It’s actually fucking annoying! Most of the time they call, half of the calls are human calls and the other half are robo calls, and a couple of times I get texts. And this time it happened to be a text. The person asked if I was interested in selling my property on School St. …… And I try to have the mindset of having fun with life, even if it annoys the FUCK OUT OF ME. So when I got the text about me willing to sell the property, I replied with the exact words…. “Make me an offer that I can’t refuse”. After about 20 minutes or so, I got a reply. and it was basically the tax assessors records of what the property is taxed at along with the building size, year of build etc. I then replied and sent them the link to the google photos of apartment #1 And told them something to the effect of how this is how one of the apartment looks after I recently remodeled it…… Needless to say when they responded, it was no longer about them wanting to purchase my property. I guess its my way of saying, shove it up your ass for thinking I have a deadbeat property. And it was also my way of saying, here is who I am. And in their reply, they began a conversation with me about renting it out, we briefly mentioned the idea of Airbnbing it, and they also mentioned about me being able to do a rent to owner finance of the property. I then replied to them a little about how I feel about myself as a person and what I expect of myself and that owner finance is not an option. And somehow thru my text about myself, they told me that they own a restaurant in a descent part of town and said that I should meet him/them. I told him/them that I will text them on Tuesday to set an exact time for Wednesday. So…. this will be interesting, as this will be my first time meeting someone who calls to buy properties. And the reason that they mentioned about meeting me is because I also mentioned that I have another property that sits on 3 city lots and that I want to build a 12plex on it and that I am trying to learn how to find investors for the project. So like I said, this will be interesting.

And there is my worker Mark. Man Mark has been a journey. He was so strung out on drugs that he cost me a ton of my money and time that I went from caring about trying to help someone to not really caring about him. But somehow, as if an act of God, he is finally not as strung out on drugs. Mark has been helpful over the last few weeks.

Now what has plagued me lately…… Money….Just fucking money! Money has been a major issue me. These last few weeks to a month have been extremely difficult bill wise. As I have mentioned, I have accumulated so much debt that I am now at a point where my debt to income ratio is making it very difficult for me to survive. This is also why I must, must, must, get apartment #1 rented. But at the same time I cannot give up on not finishing the apartment to the vision that is in my head.

So what have I not been doing, well, I have not been skydiving, I have not been getting massages and as of late I have also deeply curbed my eating out.  I have also been rethinking about what reoccurring bills that I can eliminate or downsize on. I downsized on 2 of my reoccurring bills, but I must find more ways to cut the fat from my bills. My hopes is that once I get apartment #1 rented that I will have a little more room to breathe. $1200 a month will allow me to go skydiving and still have a little extra to put towards my bills. Which in all, will allow me to almost get back to something that feels breathable for me. But yes what plagues me the most right now is just that 5 letter word “money”. I am not sure how I am going to make it happen but, somehow, I must be able to pay my bills and also keep pushing on the remodeling. That’s why this week I must get photos completed and get that apartment on the market.

And the whole time I must get things ready for the picnic.

Speaking of the upcoming picnic….. Damn it’s around the corner. And luckily I met my goal of getting the flyers to the girls a month in advance. However about the flyers. My friend Crystal informed me that I forgot to put on the flyer, the time of when the picnic starts. And well…. damn! she was correct. During my rush to design and get the flyer printed, I totally forgot to put what time the picnic starts and ends. But luckily I began passing out the flyers a month in advance, and I will also be redistributing the flyers every weekend for the next 3 weeks. And so I can make small stickers and put them on the flyer and fix that issue of when the picnic starts and ends. However, I must make sure that I put it on my todo list, otherwise I will forget to get it done. Especially with all the other things that I gotta get done this week.

Now how has the rest of my life been???? Well, still lonely, and also still, as one of my mortgage brokers would say……”Still fighting the good fight”. I’m not sure exactly what that means, or at least exactly what it meant to him, but to me, it means that Fuck!!! it’s hard, but I am still trying to push forward. Now besides being lonely and money, I have not been writing on my weekly planner. That should be fixed, but I’m not sure if I’m actually gonna fix the issue that I’m not consistent with the weekly planner. I’m not sure because I have been noticing more of when I am waking up and I am also being more vigilant about caring about my sleep. Sadly From Sunday to Monday night, I just don’t sleep much. This last Sunday to Monday night, I didn’t physically work hard, and I got to lay down a few times, but it was just so uncomfortable and not restful. But currently I must be ok with some rest rather than no rest at all. Now let’s see what else has happened? Well, Martin completed work in my master bath (In my personal house), which makes the master bath closer to being finished (that is a great thing). Now what else????? Oh yeah, my other guys that sometimes works for me…. Eddie. The guy that was living under a bridge with his wife. Well…… When he actually works, he is a great worker, but when his wife is on his mind, or when his wife comes around he is barely worth having on any of my projects. Before I was paying him by the hour, but since his wife got out of jail, I don’t see productivity from his work. So I have decided to pay him by the job. And also as of late, when I ask him about what time works for him, he doesn’t even come on time. And that is even the time that he suggested. So last week, he decided to be late on every scheduled appointment that he himself made with me. And so on Thursday, out of the blue, as I was driving to the 4plex, I saw him. He was on a street corner with his wife, doing what? IDK. And when I saw him, I asked him again about what time he was meeting me on Monday. And if he doesn’t meet me on time, then I am not going to worry about waiting for him. I have noticed that I am someone that will wait around for someone, or give someone extra time or effort, or I even give people extra chances. And what I am learning to do is to believe in a quote or saying that I once heard . I don’t remember the exact words verbatim, but it went something like this…. judge someone from what they show you the first time. Which means don’t judge a book by it’s cover but instead, the way that they are when you meet them is typically how they are going to be. If they are slow when you first meet them, if they are not caring when you first meet them, if they are surrounded by good people, if they are not carrying themselves well, etc. then that’s pretty much how they are going to be, and it will reflect on them as a worker or as someone that can help you in your business. Now, does this mean to not give someone a second chance? does this mean to not be caring to someone? does this mean that people can’t change? Well, what it means is to have hope in people but to also be realistic and prepared for their first colors to be their true colors. And this is what I am realizing with Eddie. His first colors where his true colors. deep down he probably wants better but, he just doesn’t have enough understanding on how to become better. And so if I keep trying to “hope” that he will care, then it will affect my business and I will be putting effort into something that will not create immediate progress for the business. Which leads me to my conundrum, one of my goals in life is to help people, but I must find ways to help people that actually want the help, And….. I think this is important, is that I realize that some people only want the basic help and not the kind of help that makes their life better. Instead they want to just live to make money for tomorrow and not for their future. This sadly has been something that I am learning about most people that I interact with. Especially with people like Eddie, my enigma, and Mark. They don’t really care about the next 2 days or a week from now, all they care about is the next 12 hours. Which in time I should really dive down on the pondering of that, but for now, I gotta let it go.

So let’s see, what else is going on?…. Well the BBQ pit/smoker is close to being finished, I just have a few more tweaks on the exterior then I begin the inside of the smoker, which on my todo list, is to go to the metal supply shop to get some metal for the pit. I have been semi consistent with the gratitude journal and the small wins. Truth be told, my biggest reason for not being more consistent with the gratitude or the small wins is because of just being tired by the end of the night. Which as I have thought about recently means that I need to end my day sooner. But right now I am having a difficult time ending my day earlier when I am trying to squeeze as much work out of the day light as possible….. But then again, I am also not beginning my day at 5am. Instead I am getting out of bed about 7 or 8am. And if I have an extremely difficult time sleeping then I get out of bed about 9 or 10am. And now that I think about it, if I end my day earlier, then right now I will lose out on a few days of work, but it will allow me to hopefully hit the reset button, a mental reset and it will allow me to try and push myself to get on a schedule that I want. I already initially wake up about 7am, and like I said depending on the type of sleep, I either get up or stay in bed. But if I can end my day early, then I will be able to start waking up at 5 and if I have to, then I will at the latest get out of bed at 8 rather than 10am. So I think this week I will try to end my day at 5pm and begin my dinner and wind down and be in bed by 10pm. This is what Joan has been telling me for sometime, but I have not been able to see past my own 12 hours.

It’s time for me to end the post, and so I will end on a positive note. This week I was able to get to the gym twice in one week. I swear I was almost not going to go 2 times this week but luckily I was able to make it happen. the question now is…. What can I mentally make as my “why” reason to help me get to the gym 2 times again this week?

Love,

Max.

Here’s the link to apartment #1 photos.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/7E2HU8giskGmKTR26

and here is the finished product……

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A23bAujGUIY