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Yo Yo Yo…….

It’s Maxwell Stone…..

My current mood…. Descent.

My progress…. Slow, super fuggin slow! but I have a new week in front of me and something else will get done.

So how has my week been……. Oddly the same.

Ok. so…. isn’t life weird, the progress of things is usually either very slow and unnoticeable or super fast and fly’s by before your eyes. I say this because as I ponder the last few times that I have written, I get the feeling that all has been the same. Or at least that’s obviously how I’m presenting it. And the truth is that currently….. that is only partially true. So many parts of my life have been the same, or for a better word…. STAGNANT.

But there are other parts that have been somehow moving ever so slowly forward. I’ve been trying to remember to write in my gratitude journal. And for some reason, not sure if this is true or there is something else happening in the background to make me feel this way, but I get the feeling that going skydiving ends up making me feel better. Again, I’m not sure if the skydiving is actually the catalyst or just a part of the bigger picture. Only time will tell.

So lets recap on what progress if any there has been this week at the 4 plex, at work, and in my personal life and in my state of mind…..

Let’s begin with my state of mind. Still a roller coaster, but at least a roller coaster in which this week I have been able to work on seeing negativity and telling myself to move into a more positive state, to find creativity, or find some way to re-frame or move on. Which by the way, because I don’t have many friends, and because the very, very, very, very, did I say very yet? The very few friends that I do have don’t live near me. I have a couple in San Antonio, but any other friends that I do have live in other cities. And the couple of friends that I have in San Antonio, don’t live near me and are also busy just trying to understand this thing that we all call life. And as for the ones that live in other cities, well, that’s pretty self explanatory. So my state of mind is sadly very much dependent on my ability to find self awareness, self happiness, self motivation, self purpose. God that’s tough, so tough that as I think about it, really ponder how I have to push each day. it’s just starting to make me sad. Let’s move on.

Over all my state of mind this week has been relatively good. Ups and downs. But my ability to notice the flares of negativity is becoming ever so better. So in that regard there is progress. a Plus!

At work…. This is usually a major flux in what affects me. I must mentally not let it get to me. Work has the ability to pull my puppet strings. Currently there are puppet strings only because their ability to affect my income is a major disturbance to what my outside work goal is. And without getting into detail, I have been able to minimize my mental state of disturbance. Let’s just say it is not easy and one day it will be told in greater detail. But work has been work and nothing more and definitely nothing less.

The 4plex? Ah yes, the good ol’ 4plex. the damn thing that is both a pain in my ass but also a door to my understanding and growing in the real estate business….. Well, Apt #01….. I have the cement counters 99% finished. I have the outside patio balcony 99% finished, the fencing between me and the neighbors is now 50% finished, the laundry room is now 90% finished. the lighting is now 95% finished. In other words….. I’m just sooooooo close. This past week I spent about 6 to 12 hours at the 4 plex. I can’t remember exactly how many hours just because time is flying by so fast, and my sleep pattern is so non uniformed that it causes me to not always remember some things. (between this week and last week, it gets jumbled together) But yes, there has been some progress, I have also been having my enigma work with me. I am hoping that he will slowly do less drugs, and that he will want to learn more. Otherwise I just won’t have work for him and will lose something good that I currently have. Also I must be thankful for the few times that he is available to help me. Who knows, tomorrow morning he might go AWOL again. But for now I must be positive forward.

My personal life, at least that which I am willing to write about….. (And not that I have much of a personal life….. work and real estate consumes most of my time. But my personal life in general has been good….Not only have I been trying to remember to write in my gratitude journal, which btw, isn’t always easy. I catch myself trying very hard to find something to be grateful for. I deeply hope for the day that I will never have that problem again. But 2 things seems to have made it good this week…. went to the masonic dinner and had a good conversation with a new mason. You know, personally it is difficult , very difficult to see other people become masons, yet I am not allowed because of my job, I know there are many personal views on this, but it’s just difficult when one realizes that one has pigeon toe holed himself. Just super painful, but other than that pain, the dinner oddly makes me feel good, and then there is the skydiving,…. This is worth writing about, although not sure if I can convey the moments properly…..

At the drop zone, Skydive Temple. I met a very upbeat, friendly, and all around positive type of fun guy. His name is Elijah. And I’m not sure where to start….. other than to say that I was hoping to get at least 5 jumps in that day and only got 4. (I know I’m very presumptuous, but I was told that there would be jumps all day long) And so as I was sitting and waiting for a slot on the plane, a man walked up behind me, and I can’t remember exactly what he said but he just had a certain excitement about himself. And if anyone knows excitement….. I know excitement. It’s my job at work in Austin to be the overall most exciting guy in the room. Which by far is usually very difficult to do on a daily basis…. But I digress, so this guy walked from behind me and introduced himself. I told him my name is Max. He then replied…”Oh your Max! Good to meet you. I’ve seen your posts on Facebook. We talked for a bit about ourselves and I learned that he was originally from San Antonio, and also that he has a bit over 500 jumps. He then asked if I wanted to jump with him. I said yes and we planned something out. Truth be told this was my first time jumping with someone in mid air (other than my instructor who was there to watch to make sure that I wasn’t going to kill myself.)

My point of all this was that the jump was uber cool. My very first time to jump with someone and maneuver with someone in the air. Definitely made my day. Also it was a day where I landed 10 feet from the peas. Also cool.

So yeah, these things, the masonic dinner and the skydiving definitely made my week fun. You know as I ponder for a moment, maybe it is about doing something new with new people that makes life so exciting for me. idk. Anywho….

This coming week will be another challenge all in it’s own. This week I want to get more work done at home. Getting the outside garden done is a super huge task and there is just so much to get it autonomous. Plus there are things on my vehicles that need maintenance and this type of maintenance requires so much time. At the 4plex there is just many tiny, small time consuming things to finish. (uuugggghhhhhh it annoys me just to think of the time consumption for those few things. But FUCK, it’s gotta get done.) And on top of that I still have receipts and taxes to work on at home. I still gotta get good at understanding how I am spending my money. Where its going, when it’s going and why it’s going, then I gotta reflect and re analyze how to get the most out of the little money that I have so that I can one day make my money mulitply. Then there is more personal things that I need to accomplish and work on in order to get accomplish the dreams in my “Experience List”. Things like scuba diving, skydiving, take pilot lessons, working out at the gym, meditation, making music in the studio, writing, and just so much more both for my external physical growth and my personal inner growth.

I read that someone once said that the best way to die is to die empty…. God gives us all gifts and abilities. Every gift and ability is about giving. And so when I get back to God, I want to show him that every part of me is empty. That I used all the tools that he gave me and that I gave all the gifts that he bestowed to me.

Live full, die empty.

Max