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Have you ever been late to work only to step into your car, turn the key and realize that you left your lights on from the night before?

It’s Sunday January 27th. The time: about 9pm. Location: The club in Texas, more specifically….. my mind.

So for the last 7 day’s I have been sick. I don’t normally get sick. As a matter of fact. The last time I got this sick has been……welll  hmmmmmm. I can’t even remember the last time I have been this sick. I literally work daily to listen to my body. Amidst all of the noise, self talk, and unimportant and important thoughts in my head, I still try and spend time through my day to listen to my body to ensure of what my peak capabilities are at any given moment. It is also why I try (although I am not great yet) but I still try to look for healthy options for my food and if you have read my recent posts I am trying to find time to get not just “sleep” but get “good sleep”.

How did all this happen? (Me getting this sick)  As I have had time to think about it, it started with a late night 5 hour motorcycle ride in 40 degree weather to Dallas then 16 hours later, I did another 5 hour motorcycle ride in 43 degree weather to Houston, then only to have myself 10 hours later do a 3.5 hour motorcycle ride in cold and rain to San Antonio. I can’t help but to believe those events added to the normal stress that I already put on myself during my weekly motorcycle rides to and from Austin during the winter. And work stress along with the nightly smoke filled room just over taxed my body. I mean, I could kind of feel that I was putting my body at its edge but I ultimately I still thought nothing of it until Sunday. That’s when it just hit me. I literally felt my body kick me in the face. I was literally dead to anything and everything on Monday and Tuesday, and could barely function on Wednesday. But now it’s Sunday and all I have left is a small amount of congestion that I am trying to expel from deep in my lungs.

Now let’s talk about productivity for this past week….. This past week my main focus was to stay alive, conserve energy, and rest. But I also needed to make sure that something got done on Apartment #1.  So this week I had my enigma begin the 1st of the 2 final cleaning processes of the inside of apartment #1.  By Thursday night, when I walked into the apartment I could see that the apartment looked good. For all intensive purposes it “looked” rent ready. (You have no idea how good it feels to say “looked” rent ready) now there is still just the master bath that is still not finished and along with a few items that needs the finishing touches. But this week will be another attempt at those few items.

What else happened this week? well, solar panels got installed on my mom’s house. This is something that I have been wanting for at least  15 years. I had to take out a almost 40 thousand dollar loan. But at least one house on my block is going solar. And finally as of Thursday the installation is completed. Now I just need to wait for the energy company to come and turn the power on to the solar panels. Other than that, not much else has happened.

I have been drinking a lot of Pedialyte to try and stay hydrated from all the mucus production and lack of eating.

You know, It really is amazing at how much we (or at least me) HAVE to cultivate/work/try/discipline ourselves/focus/sow, and any other damn word that means “to put extreme effort into something”. We must work everyday to be happy. We must work everyday to find the good in things. Over the weekend I was listening to some TD Jakes. And I decided to listen to one of my all time favorite videos/audio of his. It is called “Through The Storm” and I must have listened to that video at least 4 or 5 times on the way home. And by the time I arrived home, I felt better. I even had restful sleep and did not want to get out of bed just because my body was not aching, my mind was not running on repeat, and my body felt at home. Was it TD Jakes? Was it the medicine I took? or was it just plain luck? I just don’t know.

So remember I started this post with “Have you ever been late to work….” And for me today was one of those days. Why was it one of those days? Well, last night was a long night, I am still a little under the weather and wanted to get as much rest as possible. I wish I had better reasons but that is just the plain truth.  Now I got out of bed with just enough time to shower, get dressed, stop at a fast food restaurant and still get to work on time. Now what actually happened was a little different. Remember what we plan to happen is not always how God plans for things to happen. So today I attempted to turn on my car only to find out that I was so tired last night that I forgot to turn my lights off. It took me forever to get the battery charged. Then when I went to the restaurant there was a line, about a 10 minute wait. Then I was almost out of gas for the car.  Needless to say none of this was in my plans.  And what did I do? I got upset. I don’t like being late. I end up knowing that I am making someone else wait. I had a very difficult time calming down. The food that I ate was not even satisfying. However, I am at work now and those events are now in my past. (I lovingly release them)

Now what about this week…..Well it’s simple, this week is to complete all those things that I did not complete last week and to add any events that are on the horizon. What are some of the things on the horizon? Well I have a Fraxel appointment with the doctor in a week or so. and I also have to go to court to hopefully finally get a tenant out of my apartment. I have officially lost 2 months rent and in a few days will be 3 months rent that I have lost. This hopefully will be settled soon. On top of that, there are just bills to be paid and people to call.

So I’ve decided something recently, I’ve decided that since I am having such a hard time getting in writing on my gratitude journal and my small wins journal that I am just going to start adding it to the end of each of these posts. I don’t write the gratitude on here or small wins on here to help anyone or teach anyone, (as a matter of fact some of those things are deeply personal and I am going to have to find a new way to think about it or a work around for it) but instead it is strictly for me to somehow build some type of mental habit so that I can hopefully crossover that habit to doing it in my actual books.

Grattitude for today….

1. My mom – I love you. I am blessed and lucky that at age 84 you still do everything on your own without anyone ever helping you!!! And you will even find time to try and help me. I am amazed and in awe of your capabilities. Thank you for being my mother.  <3
2. Abigail – No matter what mood I am in, when I come home, you are happy to see me. Please don’t ever leave.
3. The hug and words when she said “What’s wrong?” TY for caring.
4. My sister – I have never had one until now, and I love it. TY.
5. The fact that my car still works, over 10 years old and still has life in spite of how badly I have treated it. TY.

Smalls Wins For Last Night.

1. I kept my job and have not given up on my dreams.
2. I only woke up twice while sleeping.
3. In spite of being sick I made it through the night without completely losing my voice.

With love, and until next time,

Max.