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======A Post From January That I Forgot to Publish During That Time Frame=====

I learned to hold my own hand.

-Paola-

The curious part about life is that at some point we all want to “experience” life, experience pain, experience struggle, fun, disaster, and in some weird odd way, even death…. in other words, the carousel of life is to experience every aspect of our own life and  even if its thru the eyes of others. And to add depth, we are all torn between doing it alone or doing it with someone else. And many times if our parents don’t teach us the balance or dance of this thing we call life, then it’s not until we fall and can’t get up that we learn to slowly hold our own hand in life….. The only question is….. Is that really the way life should be?

My answer….. Maybe. Just maybe for most humans that’s the way they believe life should be, but to me… Life is meant to be a team effort, a tribe of some sort….. One important note to team effort…..You just gotta make sure the people around you are really on your team.

Today’s date:  Jan 23, 2022

Time: 10:52pm

Location: The Club In The ATX

Song Playing: Roses – Saint Jhn (Imanbek Remix)

Max here,

Today is emotionally a good day. (So far… Lol) I’m at work at the club, so anything can happen and make shit slip sideways. But overall the last few days have felt quite positive. And fun fact, The last year or so of my life has been so upside down that even typing the words “quite positive” feels scary. It feels scary because it makes me ask my inner self, “Am I allowed to feel good? Am I allowed to have good days”? Life has been such a shit show that having a good day feels uncomfortable. Read that again… Life has been so bad that having a good day just feels uncomfortable.

What kind of shit is it that my own brain looks at a good day and gets scared! Why would I get scared of saying to myself… “quite positive”? Simple…. I haven’t trained myself enough to only see the positive. Self belief, self esteem, at a young age was not cemented in my ego, nor was it ever trained to be a habit…. But that will all change. I promise myself this!

So the last few days or even the week leading up to these positive days, what’s changed since my last post. Well, that’s easy. Many things that I have been waiting on is finally moving. There are now cracks in the wall of stagnation. Let’s dive in….

The apartments…. The 4plex –  Apt #1 is now 95% complete. several months ago I was stuck with figuring out how to remodel the master bath on a shoe string budget. I had called “bathfitters” (a company that specifically remodels bathrooms) to come and give me a quote to fix the bathroom and they wanted almost $8000 to fix it. Pshh. Them nigga’s are out their mind if they think that’s a price worth paying! Although I was still stuck on who other than myself is going to do the job. And most of all, I MUST get out of being the person that is actually “doing the work” and rather become the person that knows how to find the worker, and more so, find the most competent and reasonably priced, and loyal and honest worker possible. This is the person, the entrepreneur that I must become. This is the only way that I am going to be able to scale myself from having 4 small apartments to a minimum of 100 apartments in Texas. Knowing how to manage, and not just build the right team, but the most important, is being able to see the strengths in someone and help them to develop it to their best potential, not just for myself but for themselves. That is who I will and must become. So yea, I now have a guy as of last week, that came in and has that bathroom 95 percent complete, and the rest of the apartment is also 95% complete, and if all goes well, then this week, the apartment will be ready to rent or at least be 99% complete. and I will be ready to have it on the market for February, and after talking with Bob, I changed my mind about how much rent will be for that apartment. Over the last few weeks I have been talking with Rich about what he will sell the houses for (on my corner lot) and after also speaking with my mortgage guy, I keep getting the consensus that real estate is selling for a premium. Which means that I can and should be able to get a better price for rent than I expected. So instead of renting apt #1 for $1500 I will put it on the market for $1600. That will definitely help pay for either the electricity or the water at the apartments

Apt#2 – My new guy this week will be working on apartment #2 That damn apartment has been in the works for at least 4 or more years. I have been losing so much damn money on it. I could go deep on my inability to learn certain small things…. Things that are soon going to change,…. But now, the apartment is about 70% complete, and as I mentioned my new guy will be doing work on it on Monday. And by the end of this week the apartment should be at least 80% complete, The only thing left will be is for me to come up with money to buy the remaining supplies to complete that apartment. That will be the next challenge. And to not do it on credit. That buying supplies on credit shit killed me last time I went thru a major renovation, and as of to date, I am still paying interest on some of those purchases. So apt #2 equals one word…. Progress.

Apt#3 – My dead beat tenant that has been sucking me for free rent since June or July…. As of this last week, we finally went to court for a second time, and my lawyer informed me that I won but that because the judge was working from home, that I will need to wait until Monday for him to sign the papers of my victory. So this week will be the freedom week for me. This week I will finally get that tenant off of my property… Although this does not mean that my journey with this tenant is over. I am almost sure that I will go to a new lawyer and sue this tenant for all the money that he owes me. Plus once he is out, I will need to go in and fix all the stuff that he has left in a bad condition as well as update the lighting in the apartment. 5 years ago when I remodeled that apartment, LED lighting was still in its infancy and was super expensive, but now LED lighting has come a long way and I can now give that apartment the lighting that it deserves. And so all though my road with apt #3 and the dead beat tenant is still not over, I will at least be able to get control of that apartment and begin work on getting it rented again…. One word…. Progress.

Apt #4 – During December my brain was so consumed with having to do the Christmas gifts for the girls at work and with doing the multi layered gift for the woman I care about, as well as my dealings with Rich and the corner property and with learning how to become a general contractor. That I literally was letting money slip from my hands. I was so inundated with finding how to manage personal things that I didn’t even go to Muay Thai during December. And sadly I have not been back to Muay Thai. Managing my time has just been that cumbersome. But I digress, So apt#4, The lease for this apartment ended in December, and the online payment software that I use with my tenants has me input the lease dates and because I did not go and update the lease to a month to month, I did not recieve a rent payment for December and worse, I also did not get a rent payment for January. And I didn’t notice this until I was finally able to catch my breath. And worse when I relaized that my tenant did not make the payments, I began to get emotional flashbacks to my current dead beat tenant, and I secretly and internally felt emotions of ” Am I going to have to go thru this eviction process all over again? Will I have to pay more money to a lawyer? Will I have to go thru more money to get someone out of an apartment, lose time, money. lose sleep and get just more headaches? This was just another difficult pain because of my inability to propertly manage my time and my goals and deadlines. This MUST get better. But… luckily in the end, I spoke with the tenant and he recently sent me the money for december and january and I have been able to use that money to pay bills at the apartments. So again, one word…. Progress.

So as of lately, when it comes to the 4plex, there is still so much work, and I am not even speaking of the final phase of the 4plex…. for me the final phase is the outside landscaping. Once I can begin work on the final phase is when I know that the 4plex will be ready to be put on the market for $500,000 or that I will keep it and know that all I will need is to keep up with maintenace. Which sadly maintenance on that 4plex is still very costly, but…. It will defineately be a great accomplishment for me to take if from where it was from to where it will be…. And that my friend is defineatley progress.

the 12 plex…. This is a whole new field for me, there are just more people for me to know, and become friends with. There are steps to getting this thing off the ground…. And worse I won’t even be building all 12 apartments at the same time, instead I will only be building 4 apartments, and those 4 will cost me a minimum of $400,000 to build.

So what have I been doing on the 12 plex…. Well, I’ve met with my mortgage broker for a 3rd time, I’ve met with my framer Cesar for a second time, and I have met with 2 different engineers, and a home designer, and I have had multiple conversations with people at the city and I have even had a couple of conversations with my councilman’s staff member, and I have also met with the lawyer to create the contract for me and the hard money lender (I met with this laywer now a second time). And to be honest All these people require a certain amount of time and also must be placed in a proper order for the project to get lifted off the ground…. Here’s what I mean….

When building this first 4 apartments, I must ensure that funding for the apartments is in place $400,000,

I must ensure that I can get the 4 plex to be moved into a conventional mortgage.

I must ensure that the land is platted aka redeveloped by city standards so that I can put apartments there. this requires an engineeer and multiple people from the city and a crap ton of paperwork and from my best estimates… 3 months just to develp the land before I can begin pouring cement. And for me 3 months is just too long to develop the land, there must be a way for me to expedite this to 60 days or less. This in itself means that I will need to do a lot of research and meet with a lot of people, and find new ways to get people to bend to my way of thinking. Changing peoples minds must become one of my mulitple secret powers. Wish me luck on this one.

Once the land is developed I will then need to have all the contractors in place, foundation, plumbers, electricians, architects, engineers, framers, air conditioning, carpentry and all the small things in between. This is where Richard will be pivitol for me, Rich builds houses and building a house (at least from the stand point of straight construction) is much like building a duplex. Which is exactly what I will be doing. I will be building 2 duplexes. And so lining up all the proper players and contractors will be a job, but at the same time, I feel confident that I can do it, And at the same time I also feel scared, I feel scated simply becuase I have never done anything on this magnituede, and even deeper, there is almost half a million dollars at stake. That’s $400,000 that someone will entrust me to use of their money, and worse, I must still give them their money back and with profit. remember, they are not lending me this money for free. Nothing in life is free. not even pain!

And to make sure that this 12plex tests me properly, When it comes to all the steps and people and contractors and city personell, many of these steps must overlay each other. For instance, on Monday, I must go and see the lawyer for a 3rd time to take him the information needed to draw up the contract for me and the hard money lender. And even though I will see this lawyer for a 3rd time, I will probably need to see this lawyer 2 more times just to get an agreeable contract for me and the hardmoney lender. And while I am getting things in line for me and the hard money lender, I must also take my mortgage guy my taxes. Remember I must ENSURE that I can turn this $400,000 into a mortgage. And I must also be able to ensure that I can re-do the mortgage at least two more times. And although I can probably wait on trying to get my ducks in a row with the mortgage guy, It is best that I get as much of that prepared now, because once I am in full swing with the build of this first set of duplexes, I will be so deep in time management, that I could easily miss paperwork deadlines. and paperwork deadlines with money can be a really, really bad thing. I must not let that happen. And while doing the contract with the lawyer, and taxes with the mortgage guy, I must still vet at least one more engineer, and at the same time, start lining up ways to figure out how to expidite the paperwork with the city to develop the land in 30 days rather than 3 months. That I don’t know how to do, but I will learn, and at the same time, I must start lining up my framers, and other contractors, I must get prices and vetting them to ensure that I will have them to do the job. All these things overlay each other and actually tie into each other, And because I come from the hood, and because I want to do amazing things and because I want to at least say that I was able to help people, I still have not yet given up hope on building a garden on some of these buildings. In the last month or so, after speaking to two different engineers and the architect, they all said that it is a tight squeeze to put a roof top garden on these buildings because of the space needed on the ground for the stairs etc. And more so they all say that the cost to ensure that the roof can handle the weight will make the build skyrocket. This is just not an acceptable answer for me, where there is a will there is always a way. So this is where I must now, even before the ink is dried with me and the hard money lender, I must start finding information about how I can build a roof top garden and how to get tax incentives and or meet people that can help me bring it to fruition. There is a guy in the area that has something called “gardopia” he has a community garden within a few miles of where I live, It took him many years to get the garden to look nice, as well as many years to know how to find people to help him. And this guys has now done this community garden for atleast 7 years, so to me there must be some information that this man might have that can help me. I am going to be seeing how and what I can do to have lunch with him.

There’s more with the apartments, but I think that”s a good start of things to keep in my minds eye.

Now don’t forget that I still must keep my job at the club, and that in itself many times is still very diffictult. That is just a continuous battle. Battle to keep the job, battle to still make money. A continuous battle that draws energy. Engery that could be used in a more positibe way in my life.

Then there’s things in my more personal life…. Things like my lack of love life, the woman that I care about, my vehicles , my personal home, and my health. Not properly keeping these things in a proper perspective could easliy lead to my demise and complelty ruin my ability to finish the 4 plex and could ruin my possibilites to build the 12 plex. So before I completely shift gears from the 12 plex to my personal life, It is important to remember that just almost a 9 months ago the idea of having a General contractors license and money to build apartsments was still somehow not within my reach, and now almost 9 months later thru all my depression, ketamine, ayahuasca, books I’ve read, and events in my life, I am now on the cusp of finally hiring an engineer to develop the land…. One word…. Progress.

Now the personal stuff…. my love life. Sadly that stuff just hasn’t budged, but I am not giving up, somehow, someway, this will happen. God can’t leave me alone or almost barren of fruit. I will create the life that my innner being feels belongs to me. This is a must. As for my vehicles, This week I gotta go and visit my mechanic and see what progress he has done on my truck. I MUST ensure that it does not sit at the mechanics shop like it has done for so many years in the past. This requires constant contact with my mechanic. And as for my small Yaris. I must also speak to the mechanic and see if he ordered the part needed to help my car look presentalbe. Luckily this is not something that is super time consuming, but it does require a in person visit. Now…. I know that I can just send a text, but it’s important that I look him in the eye and express my need to have progress on these projects. Now… there is also the problem with my motorcyle. About 6 to 8 weeks ago I got into a motorcyle accident on the highway. luckily I did not drop the bike on the freeway, but for me, it was still a scary moment and a loss of life situaltion, but I thnk because I skydive, I was able to keep my composure while the lady slid her vehicle into my motorcyle while driving 80 miles per hour.

So since that accident I had been needing to take the bike to the dealership to get an estimate for repair, and sadly the dealership is no where near my house, and it wasn’t until recently that I finally got to take the bike for its normal maintenance and while there I had them give me a repair estimate. And it wasn’t until tongiht that I was able to email the insurance company and gieve them the esitmate. And although tomorrow I will need to physcially call the insurance company, I atleast finally got that repair estimate into the hands of the insurance company. And sadly it will take at least a month to get this whole thing about my motorcycle finalized, I atleast moved a little closer to the goal line. Again, one word… progress.

Now as for the woman I deeply care about. Whelps… that …. that part of my life I just can’t control. Jim Rohn taught it best in one of his many speeches. Basically , sometimes you are just not going to win. Sometimes it is just going to rain on your parade, sometimes life is just going to give you a shit sandwich. Sometimes, just sometimes, you have to be ok with pain. And so as for that woman that I deeply care for, she texted me recently, and I don’t know if she was drunk or high or maybe both, but she texted me recently, and she texted a few words that tore down my wall, and I broke down and texted  her back. I could go deep into what I said, but in the end, I just feel that some things are meant to be. And I don’t know why, but she is one of those things  in my life that are meant to be, and during our texts, she ended up saying that she also believes that she is meant to be here near me. But again, maybe she was drunk or high. I say this because her texts just seemed a little off in the way she replied. I dont know. I just don’t know where exactly to place my feelings. It’s just a really tough thing for me. And to make things worse, I had purchased her a website and since the end of December I have been having a difficult time putting it in her name, but as of yesterday I finally have it in her name, but…. that damn word ‘but”, the actual transfer of the domain name into her new email is not yet complete. I think that this week, the transfer on the servers will be completed. As a matter of fact tomorrow I must make sure to call about it and see why it did not happen. they sent me an email asking me to verify the transfer of the domain and I accepted and still things are in limbo… However, eventhough things are not fully trnsfered they are at least closer to being completed. And then there is still the email that I need to send her. I told myself that once I get the website transferred to her that I will email her and send one final letter to her (via email) Remember, what I must always try to do in life…. Leave someone emotionally better than I found them. And this also means to hopefully also try to leave myself emotinoally better too. So either tonight or in the next couple of days I will write that email. There are so many things that I want to give to her. If God has it where she is not meant to be in my life, then I want to ensure that I give her all of the tools that she could use to help her attain her dreams and goals. Its just that important to me. (I miss you)

Whew… missing her takes all the space in my heart and mind…..it easily makes me forget about other things in my life.

Ok lets get back on track… Other things in my personal life that I gotta still do is my health and finances. During mid November and until just two weeks ago, I did not go to the gym nor did I do the Muay Thai classes. Adding my things with going to the motherland (to get a visa to visit my family on the island) and my dealings with Richard and Christmas and also the 12 plex, All these things put my health on the backburner, but now I have been able to go to the gym. but sadly not in the way that I really want. And at my age, I just can’t jump back into the gym for 2 hours, instead I must ensure that I get my body up to speed, as well as ensuring that I learn the discipline of time management. and oddly enough time manangement is actually more importnant than the gyum itself. Time management is more important because without proper time management, I won’t be able to find the proper way to fit everything into my life.

You see, I have just has many hours in the day as Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos and Oprah Winfrey, and if they can find ways to properly prioritize their life, then so can I. The only difference is that I must make concrete decisions on what is  truly importnat and why. And with proper time management I will be able to get the health that is needed. So …. What am I currently doing, whelps, the first goal is to get to the gym twice a week for only 20 minutes. and as of last week I was at the gym for 2 days at about 30 minutes each. And hopefully, I can get to the gym 3 days this week. For me the current goal is to get up to 3 days a week at the gym for 30 minutes. And then I will add in cardio. Especially jump rope. In the past I was doing 10 minutes of jump rope and a minumum of 20 minutes of weights. And after a while I was up to 10 minutes of jump rope and 45 minutes of weights. That truly is the ulitmate goal. but again…. baby steps. then when it comes to health there is still the bigger and deeper part of health….. food, sleep, stress, and relationships.

The truth is this, the food you eat, the sleep you get, the stress you allow into your heart and mind, and the number of deep relationships literally out weigh anything you can do at the gym. So as much as exercise is important for me, it literally means nothing if I don’t eat healthy, sleep enough, manage my stress levels and work on deepening my relationships with everyone around me as well as create new and meaningful relationships. So on the food level, I am still trying to only get to eating once a day and making sure that I excise all sugar and processed foods.. As for stress…. Whelps, that I just don’t have an answer about, and as for deep meaningful relationships, because I am not as drepessed as I was, I am able to smile more and be more interactive with poeple, which is the baby steps to deeper and better relationships with people. And so even though I still don’t have the health aspects of my life down to perfection, I am at least slowly moving into the right direction. And in time I am sure taht I will get better at things…. Although the food part… I’m not going to lie… That food part, the food that I should eat.. cutting out all sugar and processed foods, that’s just the toughest. It took me a really long time to no longer need milk in my life. Now adays I don’t care about drinking or wanting milk. Now… I do say that with a caveat… I say it with a caveat, becuase I am sadly still hooked on cheese. And that too must be excised from my life. And about the only cheese, if any that I will allow is to have either goat cheese or sheep cheese, which here in America is not readily available or in abundance as cow cheese.

Well, that’s pretty much it…. Overall, it may not sound like I have done much, and I may not have been able to give a lot of details about the different aspects on my journey to my first million, but…. and a very important but is this….. Since January of last year, and as my friend Paola very poingnantly said in her quote, I have been learning to hold my own hand.

This does not mean that I don’t need help, this does not mean that the woman that I deeply care about is not important to my life, or that I wouldn’t want to feel the warmth of her hand…. In reality it is quite the opposite, I deeply need help in life, and I deeply yearn and secretly internally cry to have the warmth of her hand and fingers tie into mine. But the truth is also this,

l am learning to get up from falling not so that I can only prepare for the bigger things that are to happen in my life, but more so that I can help others see how to get up when they too find themselves falling in life.

Love,

Max.

#ToAMillionAndBeyond