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So it’s about 3 am on a Friday night into Saturday morning and I am at work…. Yeah still at the club.  My mood… meek at best! Guess I expect every day to be amazing. And for some reason today I just feel empty on the inside. Funny as it is, I sit with 2 computers, a mixer, and a microphone, oh and about 2 to 300 people around me that are drinking and having fun. But for me, I just feel like I’m missing something. Can’t put my finger on it. Maybe I didn’t eat good enough today. Maybe I didn’t meditate long enough today, maybe it was a lack of proper sleep. Maybe I’m pondering on things that I wish would happen more in my favor. Maybe it’s all of those things, or maybe its just the fact that I don’t feel that I have had enough progress for the amount of money that I am having to shell out this week…… This week has been an expensive one for the apartment that I am remodeling. And it just stings with the type of pain that just lingers and silently throbs. Uuggggghhhh.  And to top it off, I haven’t yet finished the damn thing. Plus all those other things (sleep, food, meditation, etc) probably just add to my emotions. You know they say patience is a virtue, but sadly that one I have not yet mastered. And most of all, a lack of progress can be a huge, and I mean huge nail in the coffin when it comes to staying energized.

So what do I do when I get stuck in moments like this. Where I feel alone, where I feel like I have been kicked to the ground, and like all that I am doing is just not enough….. I pray. I’m not going to go into detail about what I believe or don’t believe. That’s not the point. At least not for today’s post.

The point is that when you feel you’ve lost your way, feel like your drowning, or that you just can’t get up anymore, you must remember that you are never alone. You have got to trust that there is a method to life’s madness and that every set back is just prepping you for an even greater return.

There was a point in time when the city came at me hard on my 4plex, something about not being zoned to be a 4plex and that I would have to literally kick all but one tenant out. Pretty much ending all that I had started. And mind you this was the second year of me owning it. To say the least I was shitting bricks. I don’t yet have real estate experience. I don’t know how to speak to city officials. I don’t know how to traverse these waters.  I’m just a simple guy with a high school diploma trying to renovate and rent some apartments.

It took a lot of work and about 1 year of daily constant worry, determination, phone calls, constant search for believing that I can do this. I think today they call that grit. But for me I just had to find ways to achieve or dye trying. That simple.

Like I said, It took the better part of a year, but I got passed the hurdle and moved on to my next challenge. But during that initial challenge I felt very alone, very in despair, very helpless. There just aren’t enough words to describe how empty the world kicked me and punched my teeth in on a regular basis. No answers, no mentor, no help. Just me. I had to find determination, will, help, and belief on my own. I had to believe in myself. I can do this. But how did I find the secret tool to get this done…..

Where did I go?…. I went within. I prayed. I looked for ways to believe daily that I was not alone, and if I am not alone then I can make it one more day, I can get my ass up and try one more time. I can find ways to push. If I can just believe that I am not alone in this fight. There was something Wayne Dyer once said that I memorized and thought of often during those tribulations. Somehow it got me through that storm.  Lately I haven’t thought of it or used it, but tonight is a night where writing this can definitely help me through my night.

So what did Wayne Dyer say…..it’s simple

“If you knew who walked beside you, at all times, on this path, this journey that you have chosen……. then you can never feel fear or doubt ever again.”

Love,

Max