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“Success is never guaranteed but the struggle is.”

—-Tom Bilyeu—

Question…. If success was truly guaranteed would you really try? If success was really guaranteed would you actually care to work for what ever version of success that you want in life? And what makes the vision of “success” the thing that we seem to typically focus on more than the “struggle”? Or….. or just maybe its all just a mental construct of something much different. – Max-

Stardate:  Sunday May 1st 2022

Time: 10:25pm

Location: The club in the ATX

Song being played at this moment: Anabel Englund – De Ja Vu

Max here with an update on my journey to my first million…. So much good and so much challenges have happened over the last several months. However, still the largest challenge with becoming a millionaire is NOT whether or not it is possible to achieve goals and dreams that I see in other peoples lives, and that I easily wish was a part of my life, but rather the largest challenge is with the consistent ability to change old, out dated, and unhelpful concepts of what I believe is truly important while my soul is in this body and swap them out with concepts and beliefs that are truly helpful to the life that I feel is meant for me.

Where to start…. Hmmm, Well, lets take this in a much more mentally visual way so I can find a way to make a running list of what has literally been on my mind….Things like

real estate, 12 plex, corner property, palm house, engineers, my life, my mentality, my health, my love or lack there of, my money (or lack there of) , my pursit to better myself. my energy to be able get up everyday and feel inspired, and friends and life and death.

These are the types of things that are currently in my mind at any given moment of the day, and from my best guess…. even when I sleep. And many times they are all fighting for the all important spot of being the only thing my mind. Like they all want all of my energy and complete focus and don’t like it when I move between thoughts, they each try to push me to focus on them (as in an individual idea and not as a group of thoughts) and they each pester me for their thoughts to be the front and only thing on my mind , but my mind is constantly moving between everything and trying to play police man to hold thoughts back as well as work to get my mentality to be an organizational leader to ensure that the thoughts are put in an order of importance…. Importance that will lead to success of what my soul belives is important for my life.

Lets begin with my mentality and how that has evolved over the last several months…. Dude! Swear! This part of my life has been truly the greatest journey/battle that I never knew would happen on my road to financial freedom and life freedom. As of today, I am not crying, As of today, I am standing back up and looking for ways to swing and fight myself out of the corner that I was born into. For anyone that truly wants a better life, you MUST fight. You MUST push, and you MUST focus with one eye on the destination and the other eye constantly reevaluating the path to your goals. For those that are not trained in this, it will be utterly energy draining. It will make you believe in failure. It will try to make you believe it is impossible. It is there to get you to concede to defeat… But no matter what happens, NEVER, NEVER define “failure” as “game over” Never tap out!…Game over only happens when EVERYONE stops playing. Instead, when you “feel” failure or even feel as if you have failed, or feel like a failure…. you MUST look and reimagine failure…. Because the truth is this….. failure is just a stepping stone on your journey to the greatest version of you. It is a way of the universe asking you how badly you want your success. So every time you feel like a failure, or feel like failure is all you see, remind yourself that each test of life gets you just a little closer to your goal.

Now…. Im not going to lie.. these last several months, I have felt like life is just at a standstill. Like life forward is impossible and not part of my vocabulary. Like literally, life has felt so damn challenging. And truthfully life has felt so damn challenging for so long, that it has mentally kicked me down and knocked the belief out of me…. It’s really the only reason why I have not written in so long.

But that must change. Almost everything must change. And many times as we fight for a better life, we are so encapsulated in the actual fight itself, that during the battle to move forward, we are literally fighting for our own life, that we never get to look around and notice if we have actually made any headway in the journey to success, to what we believe is meant for us.

And at some point you must stop and take stock of yourself, stop and take stock of your mind, your surroundings, take inventory, notice the blood on your face, notice the blood on your hands and clothes, notice the time spent, notice all that you have done, just take that one small moment to see what is truly happening on your journey, stop the fight, breathe, exhale, pause for just a moment and look around yourself. Notice any small wins that you have made. It’s these small wins that will allow you to remember that life is more than just fighting to attain your goals. It’s the small wins that allow you to remember that life is about your ability to always find the most amazing version of you.

So my current mentality…. Better. Not great. But better. And fuck! to be honest. Dude, it’s a fucking fight. Like a daily fight….. At my job here at the club, I could easily be like other DJ’s in this industry. I could be drunk EVERY damn day at work, and NO ONE would “actually” care, I could do drugs, and have sex with the easiest and lowest class of women possible. But if I must be honest… And as much as it hurts to type these next few words…. The truth is this… I have been that DJ. I have been that drunk. I have been that person that “chose” to be in a cycle of repetative empty fun. Now lets be honest…. Life is about enoying all that life can be. So I can’t step on or knock on anyone that does or has done something bad (bad for themselves, their body, their soul, or bad for other people)…. I am a true believer in charma. And so if you truly do something bad to the equilibrium of life, better believe that the universe will find a way to reset the balance. Including that you eventuallly learn what you did wrong. So rather than looking at life from “is it fun”, I personally rather look at life from the standpoint of “is it fun and am I growing into a better version of myself” Thats the real question. Thats where your “real self” starts.

Lets dig deep in my mentality as of lately…. Whelps… I have been doing things to try and get me focused forward. I have of recent, read a book called “The Last Law Of Attraction Book That You Will Ever Need To Read” by Andrew Kap. (Boy that’s a long name for a book) However, it really is a great book. I truly reccomend you reading it. I could sum up the book in just a few words…..”Just be happy” LMAO! If only “happiness” were that fucking simple. However, those words “just be happy” really doesn’t cut the mustard. Hell it doesn’t even cut the butter. Our brains have an almost impossible time understanding just how to visualize a set of words that looks so different to so many different people. It’s like our brains just dont know what to actually visualize. So instead the book goes deep into the many ways to find those things that we all easily lose….ourelves. when we lose oursselves we then lose the abililty to be happy along the journey to our goals. We so easily lose ourselves in life, and or in the processes of living life, and the moment that we lose ourselves we then lose the compass needed to find the directions to the things that we define as success. And if you seek to find the greatest version of yourself, then staying as close to focus is important. And the number one thing that can get you off focus is an over focus on negativity.

I truly believe that negativity is good, but like all things in life….. Too much negativity will only hinder your ability to attain your goals. So whats the secret? It’s simple…. Fight!, fight for the best version of yourself possible, but also sooner than later, take time to breathe and take stock of your wins and even of your downfalls. Always remember that you can grow. You can rise from downfalls. Never forget that!

So I read that book at least 8 times! read that again, I read it at least 8 times. And eventually I will read it at least another 4. That book just speaks so deep to how we litterally create our own future, and creation first begins with thought…. And without knowing, it also ends with thought. And everything in between is just more thoughts. So keep the greatest focus on your thoughts. And after reading that book, I went back to doing my gratitude journal, except that I now reframe the way I see a gratitude journal.

You see I learned something a long time ago that I never really took time to digest into understanding… I learned that you can’t do what you have not been taught. Sounds simple, but read it again…. You CANNOT do what you have not been taught. However if you’re lucky, you can “stumble” on things, you can also get “creative” with things. But you can’t do what you have not visually or mentally seen or felt. And so for me when doing my gratitude journal I now add in past gratitude. I used to do present and future gratitude, but this new way allows me to begin to see my life as a whole…. to see present, past, and future all at the same time. To notice how to connect the moments of my life together, and most of all to find things to be grateful for in all moments of my life allows me to have a larger perspective of what I am doing (rather than just eat, shit, sleep, work, and fuck). And best of all it envokes mental creation. It is so important to have one hand in creation mode while the other hand is in movement mode. I could easily go deeper in how it works, but for time sake, I have been doing what the author calls gratitude scripting… It’s writing 5 things that I am thankful for in the present moment, also I write 5 things that I am thankful for in my past, and I also write 5 things that I am going to be thankful for in my future…. And the beauty of doing this is simple…. You just can’t be sad, mad, or angry when you are thankful. It’s just not possible for your brain to do both at the same time. And best of all, when you are thankful and allowing your brain to dream and be creative, it allows you to have beleif that you can fight another day. So Yeah, a new way to do a gratitude journal.

I have also begun to leave random notes of kindness to certain people at work. (something that I also read in the book) And to be honest, in my soul, like the inner me, the person that makes me the happiest is to be loving. To be caring, but fuck…. when life is a fight, like a daily fucking fight, a daily fight to pay bills, a daily fight to be at work, a daily fight to learn about health, a daily fight to always hear the word “no”, a daily fight to just find your direction in life, a daily fight to try and hope to find or see something beautiful….. When life is just this type of nonstop fight, it just becomes almost impossible to smile, impossible to be loving, impossible to be caring. And worse, you just turn off any ability to create the things that you believed that you deserve.

And so for me doing those random notes of kindness allows me to remember my inner core, and most of all it gives me energy to fight for the dreams that I truly do believe that I derserve.

Now sadly I have not really been meditating… And not gonna lie, meditation is also very helpful to the attainment of dreams, goals and happiness. It is a very helpful thing that I need to reincorporate back into my life. One of my biggest conondrums to finding and obtaining all of my goals and dreams is time management… Remember at the start of today’s blog post, I mentioned how there are just so many ideas fighting for space in my brain. And because of that, it leaves me unsure of how to “actually” structure my time, which then leads to problems of what is really important. And when it comes to time, my health is extremely important. It’s so important because without my health, I won’t have the energy to fight another day. And truth be told…. I need all the fucking energy I can get. I need all the energy I can get because my goals are larger than life and will require that I give great birth and lift off the ground the person within me that no one has ever seen. And like all things on this planet it requires energy…. However, I am a true belieiver that once I hit that “escape velocity” that things will get easier. Once I get to the point where I have learned to carry the weight, then that is when I can begin to really spread my wings and feel all that i haved worked to accomplish. Although I will say this…. Once I learn to carry that weight, it will simply mean that the reward I get for learning to carry that weight, is now to carry more weight. A man by the name of TD Jakes said it best…. “The reward you get for accomplishing your current challenge, is now your next challenge”. For me that’s one of the craziest but truest facts of life… so for that reason if anything, is the most important reason why you should choose carefully what your goals and dreams are. Because I promise you this, life will never stop challenging you. So you might as well challenge yourself for the things you want and never for the things you didn’t really resonate with your soul. Life is but a brief moment, but your soul is timeless….. Always remember that when thinking about your goals.

Lastly on the thoughts of my mentality…. Not only have I read that book multiple times, and not only am I doing the gratitude scripting, and not only am I randomly doing those random acts of kindness notes, I am also trying to ensure that I get sufficient sleep. Without sufficient sleep my body won’t be at it’s best and my brain also won’t run at its max capabaility. And I am using my Oura ring to help measure and monitor my sleep. You can easily google “Oura ring”. And of course don’t forget that of the last 18 months, I did multiple ketamine treatments and also mutliple ayahuascas. Which as of the last several months, I did anohter ketamine and I also did another ayahuasca. Which puts me at about 8 ketamine’s and about 5 ayahuasca’s. And fun fact, this last ketamine and Ayahuasca were for me, mentally prepared in a different way. This time I wasn’t doing them because I was in “deep depression”, rather when I did them, I went into it with a different mindset, a different view of what my life is to look like. This time, with the ketamine, I went into it with the mindset of “how can I find deeper self belief in myself.” How can I cement my thoughts of my ability to achieve my goals. And when I did the ayahuasca, the idea was pretty much the same. Which oddly enough, the ayahuasca was pretty interesting in how during that journey, I allowed myself to be open to the idea that I am conquering the demons that have chained me from my dreams. It allowed me to be more open to seeing and more importantly “feeling” my accomplishments. We so easily forget to feel our accomplishments. If you can feel love, then you can also easily feel your accomplishments. Remember, life is but a brief moment, but your soul is timeless. Again, its all a journey. It’s all finding ways to smile while doing that all important battle of finding yourself.

I could write so much more. I didn’t even touch on any other aspects of how I have been doing with the other things in my life. But I will save those for another post. The goal is to try and write at minimum once every two weeks and at most, to write once a week.

So the take away…. No matter what you are doing in life, no matter what you are going thru in life, remember to smile. Remember to notice that you are alive, remember that your chances of being born and able to read this post is 1 in 400 trillion. There were almost 400 trillion other sperms fighting to be you and be where you are today. And guess what….. You beat all of them! You are powerful.

Much love,

Max.