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Alright it’s January 12 2019. The time is 1:37am. My location…. the Club. The vibe in the club?? Jumpin.

But how is Max doing?…. Where is Max’s mind, body, and soul at on his journey to a mill…..Well… Max is tired. Max is bored. Max feels a little burned out, and Max also has a lot on his mind. The things on my mind are currently all the same things…. Time management, organization, money, people, business, love, and family. Except in my head it just feels jumbled and somehow when I think about it, it just makes me feel a little scatter brained. But I promise to myself that somehow I will get this under better control. Bet!

And did I mention that I am just really tired. Oddly enough, over the last 2 weeks I have slept more than I have in almost a year. But even though lately I have slept more, I feel as if I am just wondering thru my days in an attempt to find a schedule that will allow me to feel rested and ready to attack the day. I find myself trying to sleep at all odd hours of the day and night. For example, this week on Monday after work in Austin, I got home, and got my enigma started on a couple of projects and normally I don’t sleep, but I want to find ways to get some rest, so this time I decided to go to sleep for a few hours. I slept for about 4 hours. And when I woke up it was already noon and I had not yet showered or eaten  breakfast. So by the time I was finally showered, eaten and revved up to do something towards my day, it was almost 4 in the afternoon. Which after noticing this, it just made me feel as if it was almost now time to start winding down again. And so that night I went to bed early and slept somewhere between 8 and 10 or maybe even 12 hours. The bad part is that the sleep just wasn’t restful and I woke up several times only to find myself still tired.

My mind keeps wondering how can I…. What do I need to do, what in my life do I need to rearrange without losing any momentum on current projects….. just what do I need to do to get into a good sleeping schedule. I want to be able to wake up rested. I want to not wake up multiple times in a night. I also want to be able to wake up early. Preferably at 3 am. One time I woke up at midnight to get my day started and by 9am I feel like I had finally gotten a jump on the day. And I also felt like I actually got things accomplished. It was a great feeling. Somehow I must learn to replicate that day.

What type of things would I want to do when I wake up that early, well, things that I want to be able to do after I wake up are things like meditate, write in my journal, shower, have some type of quick protein/breakfast shake, go to the gym, look over my to do list, pause for a moment…. you know just that moment of calm before I storm the day, then start my day. But currently that is not happening. Instead I am struggling and placing sleep at different times of the day and night. And somehow this unpredictable sleeping pattern is affecting every aspect of my productivity and also limiting the capabilities of every goal that I am trying to accomplish. Recently I told myself that I must find ways to get to the gym. And so luckily for the last 2 weeks in a row I made it to the gym. Now I only went to the gym once each week. But going once each week is better than going zero times each week.

I don’t know, my mind is just still in too many places and still working on gripping all things in a cohesive way.

So what else have I done this week, Well I met with Joan, and talked with her about how I’m feeling with organizing and with my inability to get on track with things. And I also went to talk to a couple of people about starting the mentoring program. And after talking to a man named Jarvis, (He used to work in the juvenile detention center helping young child) and after talking with him, I realized that I am going to need to wait a short time longer before I can jump head strong into getting the mentoring program off the ground. However, I also spoke with a man named Guillermo at the San Antonio Children’s Shelter, and later after speaking to him, I sat and thought about my conversation with these 2 guys, I began to realize that what I need to do is to start meeting other people who are doing some form of mentoring/ teaching for young people. You just never know who I might meet that will want to help me get things put together. And this week I have also tried to eat at home. I have realized that I might need to help my family abroad and that I also need to better manage my money. Now because I live alone, I typically eat out 99.9% of the time. It just seems easier for me. Besides, for the sheer fact that I don’t like washing dishes and that when I cook, I just typically cook  for more than one person. And every time I do this, I just feel as if I am wasting food. But this week, in spite of my disdain for wanting to cook at home, I attempted it anyway, and truth be told, I was semi successful. And that is a good thing. I still didn’t like cleaning, and I still cooked more than I wanted. But today,  and yes, it wasn’t until today that I finally cooked a meal that was almost small enough for one person.  However, I will say this. It currently just still feels like I am spending too much time cooking and cleaning, when I could be doing something else that feels more productive. Because not only am I needing to cook and clean, but I also need to be mindful to package things so that it is only large enough for one meals worth of cooking. And that makes it even more time consuming.

So I will try this cooking thing for a few more weeks and see how it pans out. Then there is also this thing about jump starting my body. Many people have talked about the benefits  of taking a cold shower in the morning. Something about it doing benefits for not only waking you up to get your day started but something about how it invigorates your body internally. And so I have decided to try and do a partial cold shower in the morning. Now what do I mean by a partial cold shower? Well, here’s a quick mental picture….. I turn on the shower to it’s hottest temperature, then I instantly jump in the shower. and because my shower takes about a minute or 2 before the hot water travels up to the shower, I am left to do half of my shower with  pure cold water. I figure this would be a good way for me get a feel for how well this cold water thing really works.

Things I have not yet done….. I have not yet gone skydiving. I have also not yet regained my personal day. Remember, when I met Joan, I assigned myself a personal day to do things that I personally enjoy. And well, ever since my surgery I have just not gotten back to having a personal day. Maybe that is kink in my schedule. But as I think about things, I promised to my enigma that I would do my best to give him 4 days of work per week. And currently my biggest issue is that he still needs some form of supervision. This is a large struggle for me, because I feel like I must be near while he is working, otherwise he will end up costing me money in supplies or cost me money in labor. You see, I tried in the past to allow him to work completely unsupervised and I ended up losing money in supplies and he ended up not getting the job done properly. So now I am really hesitant to leave him alone for a full day. I have told him multiple times that I need him to focus on the job at hand, but the truth is just that it is going to take time for him to learn how to do certain things. Will he ever pick things up the way I need him to? Truly, I don’t know. Which is why I already have in the back of my mind that I will need someone to replace him. I think if he can learn to do less drugs that he might be able to produce better productivity. But for now I am still stuck or rather torn on how to move the situation.

And there is the fact that spring is just around the corner, and because I have indirectly been taught to love gardening, I have been working for the last 7 years at trying to have a garden while still maintaining a busy schedule. And I think that I am now close to making it happen. With the help of my enigma, the yard is almost ready for the garden to be planted. Just a few more things need to be tested and put in place, but sooner or later I will have this garden thing worked out and running as I picture it in my mind.

So as I think about things, I can see that having one day for myself really made me feel better. And now that I no longer have that day available, I feel stressed. Also these long hours are just wearing on me. And I want to get to the gym on a weekly basis, and preferably 3 days a week. I have lost a lot of muscle over the last few years. I was never a buff guy, but what little muscle I had is now non existent. And this is internally and quietly bothering me. Which is why the gym or some type of weight lifting is important  to me. And now that I am getting older, I also want to incorporate some type of balance training to help ensure that my core and flexibility are not completely lost as I age.

Well that’s currently my state of mind. I know, it’s a bit scatter brained, but that’s just currently how I’m feeling.  But as Jim Rohn once said, after every good rain, the sun will shine.

Max.

Max with an uber quick check in…….

Well it’s Friday Jan 12 2019 about 1am in the morning. It’s a smoke filled room with loud music, money being thrown in the air and a crowd of people each occupied with either a girl on them, next to them, or some form of alcohol or fun at their disposal. Oh and a girl  dancing on stage…. And me? What and how am I doing……

Well, I’m tired. I’m bored. And I just want to sleep. Earlier I was feeling hungry. I am trying to manage my weight. Something about getting in shape is on my mind on a regular basis. However, I am still battling with getting a schedule that will allow me to touch all of my major goals for money and health.

Today, I got up today about 8am. I couldn’t sleep so I decided to work on my receipts. Doing paperwork has always been one thing that I just dread doing. I will typically accumulate recieipts for several months and then just complain about having to sort, input and store them. But something is slowly starting to change. I noticed over the last several weeks, I feel….I am not sure, but I am starting to feel as if I am almost learning to organize things. Many people will say that how you run your private life is how you will typically run your business life and vice versa. And you see, being organized was never my forte with the exception of my studio room. When it came to making music, I found it very important to have my instruments in a specific place to allow me to have the most