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Hello world…

Max here with another 24 hours that God has given for me to figure this out….. This game, this challenge, this test, this rubik’s cube that we call life.  I can only assume that there are almost select few of us that quickly or eventually figure out how to move all of the colors of the rubik’s cube into it’s place while others of us either never get any of the rubik’s cube solved and yet there are probably others that only get 1 or 2 or maybe even 3 sides solved. For me, now that I know life is like a rubik’s cube, my goal is to solve the whole puzzle. And not just a couple of sides or a couple of colors, but instead everything. And as I think about my life thus far, it seems like I have been able to solve 1 or maybe 2 sides, but every time that I start working on the 3rd side, I just seem to mess up the first two sides while trying to get that third color in it’s place. Simply frustrating, but this will be solved. Promise.

So how has my week been? Well, it’s been oddly good and oddly bad. As of this moment I am internally struggling with trying to be in a good mood. Last night was another long night at the club and I ended up stopping at Walmart on the way home to pick up some food. I know I should not have eaten before bed, but man… I was hungry. And I was also tired…. I was just a lot of hungry and a lot of tired.  And so in the end I finally went to bed about 10am this morning. But boy, I tossed and turned all morning long. Sleep was extremely  limited and extra horrible. And today I must do my Sunday to Monday 20 to 30 hour work day. But other than today being very mentally and emotionally tiring and stressful, The rest of the week was pretty good. I mean there was still some down points, but over all there was just a little bit more ups than downs.

Things that occurred…..Monday morning I went to the flooring store to pick up the flooring for apartment #01 and somehow I had a pickle of a time trying to get the flooring for apartment #01. It turns out that my credit card company with the flooring company tried to charge me a $280 interest charge on $100 of outstanding balance. And so I had to pay a minimum amount of about $50 or pay the whole balance to not get charged the $280 penalty. So I decided to transfer the full amount balance to a different credit card and close out that flooring card. It was just a pain in the ass. First it was a pain in the ass because I was not financially ready to transfer a balance to another credit card, and then also I had to still purchase 17 boxes of flooring, that I was initially wanting to put on that flooring credit card. And that flooring….. which totaled over $600.00 had to end up being charged to a different credit card. Needless to say, just reliving those moments in my mind are just bringing back upsetting feelings. Oh and did I mention that the flooring was not in stock at the store so I had to have it delivered from a different store. And not only that but I was also charged a $150 delivery charge to have it delivered from a different store. Now, I could have driven to the store but that would have been a 100 mile drive (in one direction) and my work van is extremely old and may not have made that trip very well. So yeah…. Flooring for apartment #01 No bueno!

Then on Tuesday, I found out that the A/C at apartment #01 went out again. This makes the 3rd time that it stopped working or didn’t work correctly. The first time it didn’t work was because I had the outside unit moved to a different location and had to have wires and conduit re-run to the unit and the A/C guy didn’t put freon in the unit. So when I was finally ready to use the unit I had to call a different A/C guy to get freon put into the system. Then about a week ago, it stopped working again and so I called Brandon, (He is the A/C guy who put the freon in the system) Brandon had one of his technicians come out to look at it, and it turns out that the capacitor for the outside system stopped working. So the tech replaced the capacitor, and now this week it stopped working again. I called Brandon and he was supposed to go out to the apartment on Wednesday. So I had my guy John go to meet Brandon at the property. But again, this was on Wednesday and on Wednesday I drove up to Austin to meet a couple of Russian women who were going to show me how to swim. (I can swim but just barely, and not really good enough to save my life) As for the A/C it is at least 15 to 20 years old and is at the end of it’s life, but damn! I gotta keep this A/C going or at least find some way to replace it without having to shell out 6 grand all at once. Deeply troubling.

Then Wednesday night I rented a room and stayed in Austin so that I could just get up and drive to the dropzone to do some skydiving. Staying in Austin makes it so much easier than having to drive from San Antonio to the drop zone. From my house to the DZ  is over a 2 hour drive. And so by the time I get to the DZ after a 2 hour plus drive, I am already sweaty and tired. And overall it just doesn’t make for a fun day.

So yeah, the A/C at the apartment. I haven’t heard back on what the issue was. I am sure that I will find out Monday. Again this is assuming that Brandon actually went out to check on the A/C.  And then there is Eloy, (the good guy but also a serious drug addict) I wanted to ensure that I gave him work for the week, even if I was out of town, so I spoke to him on Tuesday about the work for Wednesday and Thursday. And I didn’t even leave San Antonio until about noon on Wednesday and so when I returned home on Thursday night I saw that he left work uncompleted. Needless to say this was upsetting. Now in hindsight, I should have not been upset and I should have expected this behavior and you know, I remember myself contemplating his inability to properly complete a task, but obviously I internally hoped for more than I should have expected. And as I now ponder a bit more, I guess I only expected a full completion because I took time to get all things prepared for him, tools, supplies, and payment. But in the end, the best way for me to look at things is to internally say to my self….. you live and you learn.

And as for Eloy, man, it just saddens me. He is back to doing as much or if not more drugs than before. And at this rate, I just won’t have 4 days worth of work for him. My goal when he got out of jail was to give him a minimum of 4 days of work and in time, also pay him more money. (Assuming that he learned new skills.) But at this rate, he will be someone that I rarely use, and when I do need him, I will have to go and hunt him down just so that he can dig holes for me or so that he can clean my yard. Really a very sad thing. But again, sometimes that’s life.

Now as for Thursday…. that was great! I got to skydive 3 times and got closer to getting my first skydiving license. It’s so weird, you know, I distinctly remember being in the plane at 8000 feet and remember talking to myself while looking out the window at the blue sky and the world below. For me now (at least this week) when I am in the plane waiting for us to get to our height destination, I find that the plane ride is my perfect time to get quiet and go within. I find those moments of sitting in the plane while looking at the world that God created to be the perfect time to be thankful for everything in my life. Both the good and the bad. As hard as it is to imagine, being thankful for the bad is really just re-framing it as being thankful for a lesson that is going to get me to the next level  and closer to the life that I deeply desire. And you know, it’s just really hard not to be thankful for life when your in a plane and waiting for the plane’s door to open at 10,000 feet. Because you see, either you are going to land safely back on earth to live another day or those last moments in the plane will be your last to enjoy all that your eyes can see. It’s just surreal. And for me, and for a few moments before the door opens, it is really just calming. To be thankful for all that I have, (even the things that I don’t like or wish wouldn’t happen in my life)  but while looking down at the world below, just makes me smile. And the best part, even when I replay that moment in my mind of looking at the world below while being thankful… I still smile. Totally a good thing.

Then there is Thursday night…. besides the fact that I came home to seeing that Eloy did not complete the work that I asked him to do, I also came home to seeing that my dog has not eaten in 2 or 3 days. This dog of mine, this love of my life…. I have had her for over 10 years. When I found her she was about 2 or 3 months old and she was a mutt from the streets. Needless to say I love her deeply and it pains me that my life is so busy that I don’t have time to give her more attention. Plus my dog, her name is Abigail, she has really bad allergies. Her allergies are so bad that I have my mom actually cook meals for Abigail. My dog is allergic to almost all foods. For example….she is allergic to beef, chicken, sweet potatoes, rice, duck and more. Basically everything in regular dog food. She is even allergic to all types of grasses and trees. I guess this is a result of her having malnutrition from when she was a puppy on the streets.

But so yeah, when I got home I was really worried and realized that I needed to take her to the vet. So Friday morning I took her to the vet and had him do some blood work on her and found out that she was lethargic and not eating because she had a fever, and also that she had the fever because of a tick disease called anaplasmosis. Something that I had never heard of until that day. Now luckily she didn’t have any other major issues and also luckily this tick disease was curable. The down side of this vet visit is that it cost me almost $500 for blood work, examination, and medication. And not to mention that for at least a week I am going to need to give her regular dog food.

So you know, oddly enough, now as I reflect on my week….. most of it was REALLY SHITTY. But luckily somehow, during those troubling times, I was able to frame things in a positive light, I was able to stay optimistic. I was able to not stay focused on what was not going well. Instead, I kept moving, I kept looking for better outcomes and looking at ways to solve each of those days challenges. For example, even my skydiving on Thursday was not as good as I wanted or tried for it to be, but I at least had one positive thing happen during my day at the DZ, so that in itself is one step closer to goal attainment.

So what’s next…. well….. Monday is already sitting upon me, and I have a laundry list of things to do, and I have more bills that need to get paid than I have money to pay them. And did I mention that I am tired and that all I want to do is to drive home and sleep.

So to sum it up, this past week…. mostly troublesome, but if I was able to stay positive through almost all of last weeks tribulations then I can and will be ready for this coming weeks challenges. And at this point, I think that it would be a good idea for me to remember something….Something very important.

“If you knew who walked beside you on this path, this journey that you have chosen, you could never experiences fear or doubt ever again”  – Wayne Dyer.

Thank you Wayne.

Max.